Breakdown on Isle 4

So lately things have been, well, emotionally tough shall we say?! But we're on the road to getting that under control. Yesterday, Saturday, I took the kids grocery shopping. Sage was working and (as usual) I went just me and kiddos. Usually it is not a big deal at all. It works pretty well if there is one of the carts that is shaped like a truck so two kids can sit up front and one can sit in the basket. Kyle and Olivia were up front on this trip and Aubrey up by me. Ten minutes into shopping, Olivia starts getting fussy and fighting with Kyle in the front. I threaten to take her out and she calms down for a couple of minutes and then, while trying to find my favorite butter braid pretzels (which were all gone =(), Olivia starts climbing out of the truck SCREAMING her guts out. So I get her and hold her. She is arching her back and basically going into hysterics for no good reason. I offer for her to sit up front or walk or get back into the truck but she will have NOTHING to do with anything except her full blown toddler tantrum. I am used to getting looks from people having three little kids. I just blow them off. I was frustrated trying to steer the ginormous chart around while holding my hysterical toddler but holding it all together quite well.

As I head back to the milk, I hear a man say (and not quietly), "Someone needs to kill that child." =0 =0 =0 =0 =0 =0 =0 =0 =0 =0 =0 =0 =0

And right then and there I LOST it. BAWLED my eyes out. I was in total shock that someone would say something like that and considering my nerves were a little fried anyway, I just could not stop. I tried but the tears flowed and flowed. I tried to go about my business getting a gallon of milk at a time while still holding a manic, crazy Olivia.

As I turn around, there is this wonderful woman with her arms open saying, "Can I hold her for a minute?" I recognized her as a nurse at the hospital and she was one of the nurses I had when I had Kyle and when I had Olivia. Although I know she wouldn't remember me, I felt comforted that I knew who she was and I handed over my "bundle of joy." She comforted me as I sobbed saying it was okay and she would just take Olivia to the card isle so I could finish my shopping. I just had one more place to go so I gratefully took her up on the offer and headed to the yogurt. I was still crying uncontrollably but at least down one frantic child. I somewhat got myself back together and went to retrieve Olivia.

She could be heard screaming throughout the whole store so it wasn't hard to find her (nor was I afraid that anyone would try to make a getaway with her =p). Once she was back in my arms, she was quiet immediately and put her head on my shoulder. The dear nurse, Deb, still consoled me and told me she remembered the days. I thanked her emphatically!

I checked out still trying to choke back my tears. We got my prescription (my anti-anxiety pill no less! lol) and got back into the van and on our way without any further problem.

But all day long, the words of that man echoed in my head. I know it is nothing to dwell on nor is there anything to do about it except forget and move on and keep shopping with or without screaming children! And realize that a breakdown (no matter the age) is okay---and I'm in reference to myself here because after the fact I was so embarrassed but I guess I can put a check mark next to "cry like you're creating your own flood" on my to do list!